Awesome stuff.

I have a story for those who read this blog.  This one goes out to a friend of mine that's in a similar situation.  A lot of times, it's easy to see someone else's problems, and very difficult to see our own.  This is why I think its important to read this.  Read what's going on, think about it, and how it affects someone you know, or maybe even yourself.

Over time, I've been writing about this girl that I like a lot, a whole lot.  And recently, I found out that she likes me as much as I like her, which is always a good situation.  But, let me be completely honest.  Let's go back in time just a little bit.  I was still in a relationship of many years, and it was the hardest thing on my heart.  It was one of those situations where I loved her with all my heart, but at the same time I could never be truly happy around her.  I tried my best; I wanted to be happy with her, I didn't want to upset her, ever.  But it was just a feeling inside; I couldn't do anything about it.  Yes, we were intimate, but I was even having difficulties feeling like I was doing the right thing, even though I wasn't cheating on her or anything like that.  It was a very difficult situation to be in.  She loved me, she tried, and that's what broke my heart the most.  I think there was just too much that kept passing through my mind; too many reasons why we shouldn't be together, and just one reason to try to keep things together, and that was because we loved each other... and I wanted to make her happy.  Well, making her happy was hurting me for some reason; maybe because my focus and my energy were on her, and not my own self-happiness, idk.  I finally got to the point where, I just wanted to do the right thing, to be happy, to do the things I want to do, to just feel alive again.  So, I finally did what I had to do... I had to break up with her.  And, I know a lot of guys say this, but I truly mean it- it was best for the both of us, not just me.  I felt it in my soul, it was just what had to be done.  Of course it broke her heart, and it broke mine too.  After spending some time alone that day, I did feel relieved, I felt a burden being lifted off of my chest, and I felt, for some reason, that I could talk to my now ex much more freely.  So time passes, and I meet this girl, the one I've described in my past blogs.  We started off actually as friends; I met her through another friend of mine, and we hung out some.  I remember thinking that I like her, but felt like any advancement I made would just end up in disaster.  So I talked to my best friend, a musician friend of mine, and he told me that I should wait a bit and see how things go.  So, read my past blogs, and that'll get you up to this day, and this, is the beginning of a new story.

She, is amazing.  She drove 5 hours from her home town to see me.  Of course we've been seriously talking since her last visit a little less than a month ago, which is when we first loosened up, and unexpectedly ended up with our first kiss.  She arrived on Thursday, and the first thing we did was jump into each others arms.  That felt so good... I don't really even know how to describe.  We then proceeded to hang out for a bit, go on a date, and we finally ended up watching a movie into the late night, cuddled next to each other.  Yesterday, long story short, we went on a date in the morning, took pictures in the afternoon, went to see my best friend perform in the evening, and hung out afterwards.  Today, we had a blast with her friends, ate food, hung out, and spent the evening together watching the fireworks.  And the craziest part is, that I'm so... happy.  Like, an indescribable happy that I haven't felt for... well, I don't know if I've ever felt this way.  It feels so natural to be with her, to talk to her, to play games with her, to joke and laugh and play and enjoy music with her... and then I finally part with her this evening, and in my head, I'm thinking; why?  But, what prevented me from having this much fun with my ex?  What is so different about my girlfriend now, that she makes me so naturally happy; and makes me feel so alive?  And now, I think I understand.  Sometimes, the best thing for us isn't what we see at first.  And sometimes, we have to get hurt and fight and push ourselves to the brink, before we can see the prize, and really appreciate our prize. 

You know, I will always pray for the best for my ex.  She deserves nothing less than happiness and a good man to take care of her.   I learned a very valuable lesson from her and the situation I was in.  The saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is so very true.  I would like to know what you think.  Yes, my girlfriend and I are moving much faster in our relationship than either one of us expected, and that is because of how truly happy we are together.  I thank my best friend for his advice, and I hope that his helps him to make the right decision as well.  He's a good guy, one of the nicest men you'll even meet; talented, good looking, humble, and loyal, even though he's been through one heck of a lot more than I have.  Like I said earlier, its hard to see if you're looking to yourself, but good guys deserve to be happy.  There is a serious lack of really good guys in the world, so those who work hard and put their heart and soul into the people they love and the things they do, remember, that it IS possible to make yourself happy, and the one you love happy.

More Soon.  Feel free to send me feedback, or anything you recommend for my friend.  I'm trying to help you out bro.  :)

No one's really going to read this, so I'm going to vent here.  If you are one of the few that actually pay attention to my random posts every once in a while, I'll fill you in.  So that other girl that kissed me randomly, decided to turn against me because I felt it was in our best interests to remain friends.  So she now doesn't like me, doesn't talk to me, nothing.  Ok, so that chapter in my life is over.  Now, here's what has happened recently.  I fell for this girl, and I fell hard.  I really like her a lot.  Thing is, I know she likes me, but I have no idea how much.  I want her to know how I feel about her, so what have I done?  Of course gone over the line...  I send her flower-themed e-cards every day (she really likes flowers), I tell her she's beautiful, i stay in contact with her every day, I always put a smile on her face... I'm even paying for a hotel room for her to stay at because she's driving 5 hours to my city to come hang out for the weekend.  When she gets here, I have a gift for her: a digital picture frame, which I have preloaded with pictures of some of her favorite things- flowers, giraffes, and pictures of Australia.  She knows that I'm doing all of this for her, except for the gift of course.  What response have I gotten you ask?  Not much, believe it or not.  She smiles, and says thank you, but it just seems like something's missing.  I know that money can't buy love, I know that i can't force anyone to care about me, but I wish I knew how she really felt about me.  Looking at myself, I'd say I'm trying to take things way too fast.  My answer to myself is, I know, but I just can't help but want to be close to her...  Am I doing anything wrong?  Anyways, that's my venting.  I guess we'll see what happens next week...